Register for My One Day Communications Workshop

I am happy to report that I will be giving a full-day workshop (seminar) at this year's Project Management Institute Conference on May 16 here in San Diego. The workshop is titled "Leading Teams to High Performance" and you can read a little more about it here. 
(http://pmi-sd.org/index.php/conference/menu-conf-seminars). 

Learn more about the this year's conference here.
(http://pmi-sd.org/index.php/conference/menu-conf-welcome)

Learn more about the OUTSTANDING PMI Organization in San Diego here.
(http://pmi-sd.org/)

Insist on great business results! Go to Pathfinder Communication

Creating a Productive Communication Environment

Defensiveness is not productive. May seem obvious once it is said like that, but making something explicit isn’t such a bad thing – especially if something is not obvious to the person you are speaking to. Defensiveness is the normal and correct action when someone is feeling attacked.

Notice I didn’t say being attacked – I said FEELING attacked.

I have found many times that, in my distant past, I was capable of feeling attacked when, in reality, I was not. I have certainly had people tell me (again in the past) that they felt I was attacking them when I wasn’t. When I felt attacked, I would demonstrate all sorts of clever behaviors to distance myself from the perceived danger – but whatever behavior I chose, the lack of safety I felt would KILL my willingness to continue honestly and openly continuing with the discussion. My goal was to get out alive.

So – communication stops being productive when either party feels a lack of trust or safety in the environment.

There are other elements of a productive communication environment than the risk of attack, of course. What if the other person isn’t attacking us at all – but we don’t believe that they care about what we’re saying? Or that they do care, but they aren’t open to try anything other than their current idea? That doesn’t feel very productive, and we may act out when we sense this happening (acting out unspoken feelings is the whole basis of the study of body language, by the way – we all do it). Sometimes we act out verbally, too, and if the other person feels attacked by this, things spiral the wrong way.

A productive communication environment is one in which:

·         It is safe to tell the truth

·         We intend to arrive at the conclusion that satisfies our most important objectives

·         We intend to arrive at the conclusion that is not objectionable to any stakeholder

One of the ways we can make the communication environment productive is be explicit about these things and mean them. To ENSURE that everyone in the conversation knows EXPLICITLY (by saying it) that it is safe to tell the truth hear – we need to be free to share exactly what we think. I know how scary that sounds (and I know why you picture the conversation immediately turning into a fight) when you think of saying it, but sometimes it’s best to make it obvious, and this is one of those times.

Once you and the people you are speaking with believe the three bullets I wrote above, then you (not they) need to know how to facilitate that conversation. I say “you” because it only takes ONE competent communicator in the room to handle most any situation, and I have picked YOU to be the competent communicator.

Next time, we’ll talk about the THREE things you need to know to perform your new role.

Insist on great business results! Go to Pathfinder Communication

Not tools so much as an environment...

I spent a big percentage of the last few years teaching others what I have learned about making communication at work productive. I was asked a while ago by one of my clients “What are the tools used and the responsibilities of each person engaged in a productive conversation?”

It seems that this is the way we like to imagine these conversations being held – each of us having an equal part in the conversation and the outcome. I believe that particular expectation is an obstacle to productive communication, and that by changing that expectation of “equal participation” one can begin to make things productive.

Most of us recognize that there will naturally be differences between people in our work place. That is, in almost any pairing of two people one person is a better listener, or more articulate, or more withdrawn, or more distracted…… the list of differences is quite long.

When we walk away from a conversation thinking that the other party doesn’t listen, doesn’t speak up, is scary to talk to …. THAT is when we recognize the differences and have bad feelings. The bad feelings are because our needs weren’t met – we NEEDED them to be effective and they weren’t which leaves us unsatisfied with the conversation. Further, it seems that this THEIR fault and is not fixable unless they change.

But it IS – we just have to change the “equal participation” expectation. And understanding that makes it easier to describe the use of the “tools”.

There is a kind of “ideal” environment for conducting conversations. That environment is not very necessary when we are discussing the “easy” things – non-controversial, obvious, simple, low-impact topics – and vital when we are discussing the hard things – poor performance or failures, bad news, high-impact things. In other words, maintaining the environment to conduct difficult conversations becomes most important at the very same time that the topics demand the most focus. If we don’t appreciate maintaining the right environment, or if we don’t know how, it is easy to think that TOPIC or the PEOPLE involved are what made the conversation implode. But usually, it is that we didn’t maintain a good environment.

 Communication tools and techniques are used to promote the optimum environment. Next week, we’ll talk about what that environment looks like exactly, and then discuss the tools used to create it.

Insist on great business results! Go to Pathfinder Communication