Initiating a Critical Discussion

At the moment that a critical discussion is beginning, there is a sequence of things that you need to go through before you can really get through the content of the conversation. This is where you start building safety. Notice that it doesn’t matter if you are initiating the conversation or not, YOU are still the one that goes through the sequence.

What are we talking about? Develop a sentence or two that adequately sums up the controversy. Use simple vocabulary, and try to keep it to one sentence. Make sure the other party agrees that the statement is the point of contention. It frequently sounds like this. “So what you are saying is that the company was better when we were employee owned. Is that right?” Many times your counterpart may say “not exactly. What I am saying is….” and lead to you a slight modification to it. Sometimes this process goes on for a few iterations. This is a GREAT time to be patient and get it right. The alternative is to be working on an issue that isn’t really the point of clash anyway. This sentence is called the resolution and it doesn’t matter if it is expressed in the affirmative (the company was better when we were employee owned) or in the negative (the company was NOT better when we were employee owned). We can explore it logically either way.

What is the nature of the problem? Two things here –First, What is the current impact of the problem? Secondly, What are the future consequences? Using our example, if things were indeed better when the company was employee owned, we may currently see some grumbling or some disappointment. The consequences might be apathy, turnover, and loss of competitive edge. If this is what is uncovered, these are pretty serious consequences.

Determine the purpose for the conversation. Remember that each conversation has a generic purpose and a mutual purpose. There are three possible generic purposes: to understand your counterpart’s point of view, to express your point of view, and to troubleshoot a problem. You cannot troubleshoot until you have done the other two. The mutual purpose varies with each conversation, but it is defined as the reason you and your counterpart are both willing to have the conversation. For instance, you are both willing to discuss the problems associated with the change to a non-employee owned company because you are both concerned with morale OR profitability OR employee satisfaction OR quality.

Imagine the ideal outcome for the conversation. “We will come out of this with some recommendations for measures to take to prevent a slip in quality” OR “We will come through this and understand the top five problems we may face going forward” OR “We will come through this and I will fully understand where he/she stands on the issue.”

NOW we are ready to begin discussing the content. With practice, and depending on the conversation, the whole "initiation sequence" may take just a few seconds.

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