Personal Improvement

For some of my students, learning High Performance Communication is part of a larger objective. They express to me the desire to be more in many ways, not just to become better communicators, but to develop an advanced degree of competence on many levels. Call it “personal excellence”. And while they see improved communication, collaboration, and persuasive skills as a big part of the picture they know they need to develop more than those to be all they intend to be. I say good for them and I’d like to suggest some areas in which they can focus to get better. There are four areas I want to discuss – two this week and two more next week.

1) Goal Setting


Being able to select goals allows us to focus and prioritize. The most difficult part for most people is being willing to spend the amount of reflection required to truly “select” an end goal. It is certainly worth getting in touch with your desires and determining what really makes you happy. Volunteer work is a good way to do this. If you suspect you are a charitable type, you may volunteer to local organizations that expose you to lots of different experiences. I found that professional organizations were best for me (my goals centered on contributing to the success of people in a business setting). Your aspirations may differ, so find a way to volunteer and do something that you find satisfying and fulfilling. Volunteer organizations are frequently open to allowing people to develop experience in something they’ve not done before but would like to try.

With your goal set, you will be able to focus on finding the “small steps” required achieve the goal. This is the act of “bringing order out of chaos”. As we develop our goal, we can start to categorize our attitudes and behaviors as either “supportive to our goal” or “not supportive of our goal. We can then choose what to work on. It can be discouraging to try to achieve your goal in one leap. I have found it very helpful to talk with people that have done what I intend to do, and to watch how they go about it. I try to detect differences between how they do it and I do, and then try to “key in” on those things that I am not doing that seem to contribute to their success.

I also try to determine what they do to recover if they encounter the unexpected (recovery failures). It helps to recognize that unexpected results are where the most important learning opportunities come from. It is best NOT to ignore them or try to sweep them under the rug, but to examine them openly especially with others. Talking about one’s goals, failures, plans and such help to keep us motivated because by declaring our plans out loud to people we care about, we are less likely to want to give up (and lose face) and more likely to get encouragement.

2) Mental Rehearsal


In performing my “small steps” towards my goal, I visualize myself doing what it is I intend to do. In a deep state of concentration, your brain doesn’t fully distinguish between visualizing doing something and actually doing it. As you see yourself performing over and over, you become comfortable with the activity. OF course doing it is likely different than visualizing it, but as you start to do both you will find yourself developing mastery faster.

Next time I will talk about the next to components of learning new skills – Self Talk and Emotional Control.

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