Speaking of Sailing…

Dr. Joyce Brothers, psychologist, points out that “There is a rule in sailing where the more maneuverable ship should give way to the less maneuverable craft. I think this is sometimes a good rule to follow in human relations as well.”

It is important to show respect to others that may be having a hard time expressing their thoughts quickly or succinctly on a difficult subject. When someone is having difficulty expressing things, it can be because they are revealing new information – maybe something they haven’t thoroughly thought through yet. Or maybe something that they aren’t sure they can share safely. Criticism or analysis isn’t helpful at this point – patience and interest are. Asking questions to help your partner fully develop the thought or just waiting for their thoughts to develop are good ways to help difficult conversations along. Nothing shows respect like being patient and listening from the point of view of an interested collaborator. Certainly, nothing discourages open communication like judging or criticizing someone’s thoughts even as they are being formed.

The comment reminds me that those of us that study communication have a responsibility to mentor others and help move conversations along by improving the process as well as the content.





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